A Crummy Mummy Christmas
Crummy Mummy desperately celebrates Advent
by Deborah Peraya
To: vivi@gmail.com
From: HYPERLINK "mailto:babe@daddygone.ca" babe@daddygone.ca
Subject: Freaking Xmas
I loathe this time of year. As if I don’t have enough pressure, trying to remember not to blow the fat-man-in-red lie, now I’m expected to get creative. Ellie’s preschool sent home instructions for a do-it-yourself advent calendar kit, and in a moment of weakness, i.e. hungover, I agreed to help her.
At first it was fine. I lay on the couch in the dark while she drew all her pictures. Great kid, but admittedly limited drawing range – her stuff always either looks like a bowl of cereal or some kind of noodle monster. Anyways, she filled all the pages and then, after putting her to bed, it was up to me to fill the spaces. All 25 of them. I think I pulled it off rather well - single old earrings that I “repurposed” as shiny treasure, a couple erasers from the miscellaneous drawer, gummie bears, an Allen key, some pipe cleaner twisted into a “smile”, old potpurri, the key to my safety deposit box. I think I may have lost a press on nail in there too but what the hell. It’s all worth the look on her face in the morning.
Oh, please. Like you’re one to judge.
From: HYPERLINK "mailto:babe@daddygone.ca" babe@daddygone.ca
Subject: Freaking Xmas
I loathe this time of year. As if I don’t have enough pressure, trying to remember not to blow the fat-man-in-red lie, now I’m expected to get creative. Ellie’s preschool sent home instructions for a do-it-yourself advent calendar kit, and in a moment of weakness, i.e. hungover, I agreed to help her.
At first it was fine. I lay on the couch in the dark while she drew all her pictures. Great kid, but admittedly limited drawing range – her stuff always either looks like a bowl of cereal or some kind of noodle monster. Anyways, she filled all the pages and then, after putting her to bed, it was up to me to fill the spaces. All 25 of them. I think I pulled it off rather well - single old earrings that I “repurposed” as shiny treasure, a couple erasers from the miscellaneous drawer, gummie bears, an Allen key, some pipe cleaner twisted into a “smile”, old potpurri, the key to my safety deposit box. I think I may have lost a press on nail in there too but what the hell. It’s all worth the look on her face in the morning.
Oh, please. Like you’re one to judge.