Crummy Mummy Gets A Pet
When Hell Freezes Over
by Deborah Peraya
To: vivi@gmail.com
From: HYPERLINK "mailto:babe@daddygone.ca" babe@daddygone.ca
Subject: when hell freezes over
The kid just asked me for a dog. I mean, get real. Getting up at 6am to walk and feed it – I never even did that for her. Why not just ask for an elephant. Jeez.
But being the reasonable person I am, I decided to use some of those “negotiation” strategies so bandied about. “Something smaller,” I told her. She countered with a caterpillar. I thought that was a brilliant idea and praised her highly (I am so good) before pointing out the tree she could scavenge for one on. Twenty minutes and no caterpillar later, she asked if I would order one for her online, like her teacher had done. I had to explain that online shopping was for shoes not wriggly things.
But she gave me that look. And she was just so sweet that I couldn’t refuse her. So I let her use all her savings and buy a fish.
But if it chokes, I’m flushing it.
From: HYPERLINK "mailto:babe@daddygone.ca" babe@daddygone.ca
Subject: when hell freezes over
The kid just asked me for a dog. I mean, get real. Getting up at 6am to walk and feed it – I never even did that for her. Why not just ask for an elephant. Jeez.
But being the reasonable person I am, I decided to use some of those “negotiation” strategies so bandied about. “Something smaller,” I told her. She countered with a caterpillar. I thought that was a brilliant idea and praised her highly (I am so good) before pointing out the tree she could scavenge for one on. Twenty minutes and no caterpillar later, she asked if I would order one for her online, like her teacher had done. I had to explain that online shopping was for shoes not wriggly things.
But she gave me that look. And she was just so sweet that I couldn’t refuse her. So I let her use all her savings and buy a fish.
But if it chokes, I’m flushing it.