Priceless
16/02/08 20:44
The True Cost of Those Memories
by Deborah Peraya
by Deborah Peraya
The Birthday Pinata
1) Heavily branded and thus overpriced piñata of toy/cartoon figure $17
2) 2 prepackaged plastic princess jewelry sets for piñata $20
3) dollar store hair trinkets to replace plastic jewelry that broke while
trying to put it in piñata $7
4) Boy-appropriate loot like killer ninja figures, soccer erasers and
parachute men to put in piñata so it's not so girly $16
5) “healthy” fruit treats to cover off various kids’ allergies $22
6) cheap bulk (albeit peanut free) chocolate upon realization that piñata
is still only a quarter full $15
7) heavy duty string to hang piñata when rope made of shoelaces won’t cut it $3
8) matching branded bags to put piñata loot in $8
9) new broom when the handle we’d been using to hit the piñata broke but the
piñata didn’t $12
10) emergency trip to skate shop downstairs from party room so husband could
sharpen pocketknife and slice open piñata $2
11) flowers for offended mom who stormed out with kid when husband
yelled “Jesus fucking Christ on a stick!” while slicing both hand and piñata
open with now very sharp pocketknife $24
12) bandaids hurriedly purchased at skate shop when rest of princess jewelry hit
floor, shattered and cut several cheeks $5
13) extra-strength Tylenol for migraine from the screeching, shoving and
eventual crying as kids dove upon the loot like hyenas going for the soft
underbelly $8
14) Ice pack (from skate shop) when migraine compounded by bratty
children complaining there isn’t enough candy $2
15) Late fee on room rental from cleaning up princess jewelry and
smashed piñata debris $50
Total cost of piñata: $211
Cost had I just spent $5 kid for 15 kids: $75
Thanks from my over-sugared, chocolate-smeared child for best birthday ever: Priceless
1) Heavily branded and thus overpriced piñata of toy/cartoon figure $17
2) 2 prepackaged plastic princess jewelry sets for piñata $20
3) dollar store hair trinkets to replace plastic jewelry that broke while
trying to put it in piñata $7
4) Boy-appropriate loot like killer ninja figures, soccer erasers and
parachute men to put in piñata so it's not so girly $16
5) “healthy” fruit treats to cover off various kids’ allergies $22
6) cheap bulk (albeit peanut free) chocolate upon realization that piñata
is still only a quarter full $15
7) heavy duty string to hang piñata when rope made of shoelaces won’t cut it $3
8) matching branded bags to put piñata loot in $8
9) new broom when the handle we’d been using to hit the piñata broke but the
piñata didn’t $12
10) emergency trip to skate shop downstairs from party room so husband could
sharpen pocketknife and slice open piñata $2
11) flowers for offended mom who stormed out with kid when husband
yelled “Jesus fucking Christ on a stick!” while slicing both hand and piñata
open with now very sharp pocketknife $24
12) bandaids hurriedly purchased at skate shop when rest of princess jewelry hit
floor, shattered and cut several cheeks $5
13) extra-strength Tylenol for migraine from the screeching, shoving and
eventual crying as kids dove upon the loot like hyenas going for the soft
underbelly $8
14) Ice pack (from skate shop) when migraine compounded by bratty
children complaining there isn’t enough candy $2
15) Late fee on room rental from cleaning up princess jewelry and
smashed piñata debris $50
Total cost of piñata: $211
Cost had I just spent $5 kid for 15 kids: $75
Thanks from my over-sugared, chocolate-smeared child for best birthday ever: Priceless
